Hey, it's that one guy.

Oh my my, looks like it's been one semester full of trials and tribulations. I'm supposed to be finishing up the last of my long portrait-debt for figures but heck, I just need to vent things out. After all, it's been years since I've done that.

Some said my blog is political, some said it's philosophical, some said it was just depressing. Well I offer you my deepest regrets and apologies, I'm not blog-savvy. I'm not gonna be the guy with the grammar and vocab for this one, I'm gonna post as me.

I'll be talking to pixelated words anyways since no one actually visits my blog, but still, it's the thought that counts right?

First and foremost let me tell you a story about TOA. TOA is expensive. You pay 5,000 Ringgit a semester and you still have to buy your own art supplies. What makes it bad is not the fact that every bottle of poster color is 4.50 Ringgit a pop, but it's some lecturers whom I believe, have a bad past. I dunno why but every time I knock on the AD department door, I can feel this heavy air pouring out of the room, very tension-ny. Not only that I have a bi-polar, no wait, tri-polar, or even possibly QUAD-polar Visual Communications lecturer who is everything but interesting. Some might think she's great, most find her being a capital B. Oft she will throw these words at you when you find some things hard "Y'know it's the life of a designer, you just have to live with it." See ma'am, as much as I respect your opinion and loathe your ego and temperament, doesn't mean if you had a crappy career as a designer means that the same will happen to ANY of us. Instead of DE-motivating your PAYING, WILLING and (I cannot stress this last point out) STRUGGLING students, why don't you turn that frown upside down and motivate us, guide us through like how other lecturers are doing.

Guiding students, YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG.

Next up, i'd like to talk about margins. Margins in art schools MATTER. It sets up the teaching quality and grading prerequisites for a class. Thus, a class with students with mediocre drawing skill will be more guided with precision. Unfortunately I'm stuck in a class full of talented individuals. My figure drawings and portrait sketches would not look as good as the others. After all, we're all learning everyday. The problem with this particular subject now is that, blatantly and honestly speaking: I've lost my interest in figure studies. I've tried my best, but I'm afraid it was not good enough. Now TOA customs state that this will be the time when my lecturer would give me a stern, but maternal look and say "Try harder, you can do this!" or "I was worse than you last time!" Or this is the time when my beloved Dean/Principal would drive to my place and tell me "If got good student in your class do 2 portraits, you do 4, lecturers won't get mad one, you put more effort you will be better than them!". I didn't lose interest due to the fact that there are talented people in my class, I love their works, and would love to learn from them, sadly what they gave me for tips were "just do lo.". I'm simply tired of stereotyping. Just when I thought I'm free from the clutches of mainstream studies, we're back at square 1. Doesn't mean if there are so many talented artists in my class, particularly with the portrait drawings, MY level of talent would just be expected to be driven forward by jealousy. I don't get jealous, I get pissed. I never shown off anything to anyone unless needed, neither do I expect people to make me learn from jealousy. It doesn't drive me forward. I'm not sure what pasting up portraits on the board to show who's done well in class would do, because frankly, I see no point, TEACH ME, personally as a lecturer, instead of when I ask questions you go "Eye judgement lo, need to draw more lo then can improve." Posting good portraits to make people go "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH." is one thing, using mine, a particularly BAD result of inexperienced hands to show what bad finishing is, I gotta say, even though I;ve been with that lecturer for close to 6 months now, I'm pretty fucking offended. Hence, why I'm neglecting portraits and writing this right now. "No hard feeling arr."

Oh it's not over yet folks, there's more to rant on in this semester of rage. Oh dear god and I thought I was over this. Friends. See this is where the title of this rant comes about. I'm that one guy. That one guy who everyone expects to help them ace their projects in group work. Sure, not to show off but rather; admit, I have helped a group to get 99 out of a possible 100 for History of Arts project, or made Crimes in Malaysia sound humorous but interesting. Sure I've gotten 9/10 for my speech and made a convincing Pizza Hut ad, as well as making a video that my lecturer found to be rather entertaining for BM class, but please, I'm not that one guy. I refuse to be phrased whereby you ask me "So what to do wei?" "What should we do?" and what not. Think for yourself. Hello, Mrs. Pinky, if you're reading this, thank you for giving me a break, I totally appreciate what you've done. You're still my hero thus far. See being the only kid at home with no siblings pretty much sets my sense of value of "Friends" as siblings for me. I'd be truthful, blunt and at times rather Flubber'd up in the head. The problem is that, the people that I've come to know for the past semester from my class. Well call me up, those who have my number and I invite you to sit down with me at 8 o' clock sharp after I finished turning on the air-conds and lights and wait for people to come in, you'll see how the seats will be arranged. I can remember the hierarchy for each class, they're the same generally. See it ticks me off when a friend does something stupid. Calling me emo when YOU ARE THE ONE WHO'S NOT TALKING TO ME. Calling me isolated when YOU ARE THE ONES WHO ARE SITTING IN FRONT OF ME. Imploring me why I always hang out with the same guy when HE'S THE ONE WHO ACTUALLY BOTHERS ABOUT ME. Some even go as what they call DISCUSSING ABOUT MY BEHAVIOR UNTIL 4 AM IN THE MORNING. Some, and this particular friend I hold dear to me has finally pulled her trump fucking card. YOU RANT ABOUT MY MISBEHAVIOR TO YOUR FRIENDS AND LET THEM TEACH ME A LESSON. This time, seriously, and not jokingly as always I'll ask you if you somehow found this post: I really thought at one time, the few of us would have something special. Seems like now some of them are rather irritated by my very presence. You all would gang up on me during small debates. For example it is okay for others to call what you adore a "lil' fucker" and you laugh it off while I, cannot, question my why did I call them that. While other people can call you a pedophile as a joke, I can't cuz I've just offended you. You know who you are. And then there are people who laugh at a stupid website and the jokes from it that are recited by others, when I do it, nope, CHUCKFUCKINGTESTA. There are some people who cannot face me. You speak to me with that loathe-ful face of yours but with a smile to others. Then come the people who talk behind my back. Yes, your intentions are noble, but please, call me up and sit down at ChaTime or the Student Lounge, if you wanna go to some place quiet, go to the other Student Lounge at Block P, I'm always up for a "What's on your mind?" You don't need to be Facebook to ask me that. Nice, save me up a seat at the row of computers with no one there. When I'm sitting alone in class, nope go start a new row with others to mingle, terrific. But when it comes to your group work or questions you don't know, I'm suddenly Wikipedia. You might have your motives, but this is what I see. One man's trash, is another man's treasure. Ironic tale of life. And for those who didn't know me well enough but have the balls to complain about the bunch of "nerds" in student lounge for being noisy, at least they are loyal friends to me. Sure, I'm as loud as them, at least they can have some godforsaken fun. At least to them, I'm not that one guy.

If you scrolled all the way down here and said "Too long, don't wanna read." I understand if this one person's rant isn't that important, but seriously, this made me feel A LOT BETTER.